Too slutty, too fat.

He is insane
the voice on the the other end
says
What reason could he
possibly have
for not falling in love with you

Your guess is as good as mine

and I've got a thousand

Around him I am

harsh
obtrusive
loud and
stubborn
desperate
needy
and drunk

what's not to love

when I'm by myself
and I bring myself to the point of
implosion
through battery operated means
there are days when
the tears come

because I'm half imagining
him holding me
and half feeling the shame

of not being

virginal
quiet
demure
and rejecting
enough for him

and after these years
I still haven't found my way
out