where water meets water

the heaviness of a head pressed between my breasts
and the warmth and adhesiveness of sweat on a back
my fingers are stuck on his skin
and the long wide-sweeping passes become
short and finite
just be
stay here
and saltwater droplets one by one
spill their quiet stories onto my belly
relentlessly and impatiently
like little lost travelers
catching a first glimpse of home
and we did not move
and the clock ticked away
those stolen morning moments
and thick living breath hung motionless above us
around us
and we folded each other in
like protector and child
and went under
hoping to find that magic world where survival meant
sweat
tears
and slow exhalations
not resurfacing

utero

the air was tense
and sad
exhausted
spent
familiarly awkward
feeling safe I blurted it
out
he had been waiting
for me
to ask

it's a boy

did you hear me

yes

he has a hole
in his
heart

i sniffled out
they can fix that
these days
but i meant
just please don't
name him branden
with an
e